I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize