I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize