Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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