took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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