Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize