Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
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Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
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I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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