so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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