Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
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You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
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Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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