he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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