I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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