i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I need water and some morals
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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