If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize