you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize