I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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