Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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