So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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