I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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