I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize