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Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
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