please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize