I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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