I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
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he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He did a backflip because drugs
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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