Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We need to rekindle our bromance
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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