bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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