Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
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you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
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My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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