If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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