I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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