I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
smell my finger.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You have to summon your inner elephant
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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