I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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