Your dad touched me again.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
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And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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