just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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