my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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