I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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