Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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