Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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