he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
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tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
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He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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