I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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