Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize