I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize