I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize