is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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