If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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