Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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