She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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