I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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