It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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