I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
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90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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