The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize