I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
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