You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
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I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize